


Walking Contradiction

by JoyHale



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bullying, Dark, Dorks in Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, First Love, First Time, Fluff, Hate Crimes, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Misunderstandings, Oral Sex, Suicidal Thoughts, bullied jared
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-15 07:51:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13026546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoyHale/pseuds/JoyHale
Summary: Jared is the only gay in town - at least the only outed one. He is sure he is gonna end alone, but meeting a drunk popular Jensen, who rescued him from getting bashed at his brother's party, things are suddenly utterly different.





	Walking Contradiction

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Uh, this is kinda long, I wanted it to be a long one-shot but decided a long chapter fic with long chapters would be better. Hope you'll enjoy it 'cause I enjoyed a lot writing it! Comments and kudos are loved!

Jared always knew he was gonna end alone. 

Being the only one gay in a small town could be a relationship killer. Jared had hard times being the only outed person in the town, everyone was looking through fingers at him. Some of them - especially jocks in the school - made fun of him, even bullied him. Jared hated that, but what he hated the most was the rest of the people, who pretended they didn't hate him, they just smiled politely at him, too religious, too fake to openly admit they were homophobes.

Yeah. Welcome to Jared Padalecki's everyday reality. 

It sucks.

 

* * *

 

Jared sighed as he entered the school, already prepared for another round of insults and bullying. It was the same every day, so Jared just kinda got used to it; it would be really weird to not be called queer, homo or disgusting one day. But it was Wednesday, so hurrah, only three more days and Jared could spend the weekend with his nose buried in a book, not leaving his room. He had to think positively.

Jared moved to his locker quickly, trying to blend in, but that was kind of impossible when everyone knows you. Jared tried everything over the years, even started dressing in drab clothes, black or grey only, to make himself more overlookable - although Jared hated black clothes, reminded him of funerals and death. He also started to wear headphones all the time, shutting the real world down by music.

It didn't take long today, for someone to start the insults. He saw Stephen Amell - this Neanderthal who was for seemingly no reason popular - and his group of buddies standing by Stephen's locker, laughing at something. They all looked the same, tall - but not as tall as Jared himself - broad-shouldered, with annoyingly stupid expressions on their faces, like everything except parties, girls and soccer were too much for them to understand. Immediately after Stephen spotted Jared, his grin grew.

"Hey, look who's here," Stephen called out loud and almost everyone looked at Jared. Over the years Jared started to notice the few people who looked uncomfortable when Jared was being bullied, some of them even looking sympathetically, but no one dared to do something, in fear to not become another drop-out like Jared. Jared closed his eyes when Stephen headed in his direction and activated his secret superpower - invisibility. He disappeared in no time, vanishing into the thin air. 

"You deaf or something?" Jared heard Stephen growl. "Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

Jared opened his eyes to find out - much to his disappointment - that the invisible thing didn't work again. _Sigh_. But he'll get to it, someday.

"Hi, Stephen," Jared greeted because he was taught to greet everyone, even someone with an IQ of a Barbie doll. "Any clever remarks this beautiful morning?" Jared asked, his voice almost bored by this everyday routine.

Someone chuckled and Stephen frowned and Jared could tell he even blushed, but Stephen would never admit that 'cause only  _queers_ (and girls) blushed. And Stephen certainly was neither.

"A little cocksure, aren't we?"

Stephen stepped closer to Jared when Jared instinctively took a step back. Stephen smirked at that; even when Jared could easily tell him something to make him look dumb, he could never overpower anyone, especially not Stephen. Jared was too skinny, awkwardly long-limbed with almost none muscular mass, to beat someone up. And also strictly against violence, he couldn't hurt a fly. It came with getting beaten up most of his life - Jared never wanted to hurt someone like others had hurt him.

Stephen raised his fist, ready for the first punch. Jared curled on himself a little, not looking around as he ducked his head so his bangs could cover his eyes. No one tried to stop Stephen, they continued their conversations like they didn't see it. Even the teachers turned a blind eye to that. Jared was used to it, to anyone standing up for him. He knew most of them find him disgusting,  _look at him, gay, perversion of nature_. Jared started to hate these too religious people a long time ago, but in this town, almost everyone believed in God. And Jared was different. He was against their believing. 

Jared closed his eyes, flinching a little in the expectation of a punch, but it never came. Jared slowly opened his eyes as he heard a cough and then a voice firmly saying, "Hey, dude, that's enough."

Jared's head snapped in the direction of the interrupted and he was surprised and confused to see not anyone but Jensen Ackles - another jock, moved here year or so ago, popular, captain of the soccer team, drop dead gorgeous by the way. Jensen Ackles who was frowning, and it looked like he was _standing up for him_. Standing up. For Jared. Anyone else finds that weird?

Stephen blinked, the expression on his face looking extremely idiotic, with his fist still raised. "What?"

"I said, that's enough. Leave the sucker be," Jensen said, looking Stephen firmly in the eye. Stephen looked around, unsure what to do. He looked at his friends who just shrugged, just taken aback as Stephen was. No one ever stopped Stephen from punching someone and it was obviously too much for his little brain to take. He frowned eventually, snapping at Jensen, "Fine, whatever. Hope you'll have a good time with him." Stephen's buddies laughed and walked away.

Jared was still staring at Jensen with wide eyes. He just actually saved him from getting beat up! Jared couldn't believe it. It was like one of these dreams he had, the good ones; in these dreams Prince Charming saved Jared from all the evil in the world, making everything, that was dull and dark in the reality, bright and pink. Jared waked from this dreams in tears. And now it happened!

Okay, maybe Jared was overreacting, but still.

Jared looked around and realized that everyone stopped talking and just stared at the two of them in shock. Right,  _now_ they were looking, not when Stephen had been hurting Jared every single fucking day.

But no hate, of course.

Jensen looked uncomfortable under the attention, so he almost growled at Jared when he took a few hesitant steps closer, wanting so badly to thank his hero. And being so close to Jensen, Jared had to admit that the guy was more than smokin' hot. He had the most amazing green eyes Jared had ever seen, almost emerald, the kind you only see in magazines and don't believe people can actually have this color of eyes. Jared also could see that he had freckles, which Jared found adoring and cute. Jensen's hair wasn't gelled like every other jock's and it looked so soft Jared wanted to touch it, tangle his fingers in it.

As Jared's heart hammered in his chest, he found himself developing an instant crush on this guy. 

"Don't think this means something, _fag_ ," Jensen hissed at him, taking a huge step back and widening the space between them. "'M just not in the mood of seeing blood on the floor."

Jensen turned around and walked away, entering a class. Jared looked helplessly after him, feeling sad about the insult but the happiness of someone standing up for him beat that down - at least for now. He watched Jensen before he disappeared in the class, having a great view of his ass.

Jared had a hard time focusing on his classes.

 

Jared was still in his little bubble of happiness when he entered the Science class, the happiness he felt helping him ignore every shit someone threw at him. Jared was listening to Green Day as he made his way to his desk, sitting down. He ducked his head and let his bangs cover his eyes as always, trying to look as small as possible when someone was over six foot. He opened his notepad and flipped through a few pages, looking at his doodles from previous days. 

Well, they weren't exactly doodles, more like sketches, but since Tom Welling took his notepad last year and showed everyone the freak's  _doodles_ \- some of men, some of... some parts of men - he never dared to call them sketches or art again, too embarrassed.

The latest one was a man without a face; his face was replaced by a black hole. Jared felt really depressed that day. 

"These are good," Jared heard and his heart skipped a beat; he clutched the notepad afraid someone was gonna take it like Welling. When he slowly looked up, he saw - guess three times - Jensen Ackles, sitting at the desk right next to him, smiling softly. He had to see the fear on Jared's face because he quickly backed off.

"Sorry, I shouldn't look... uh, sorry," Jensen mumbled, looking anywhere but at Jared.

Jared closed the notepad and looked at him again. Why was he sitting beside him? Did he sit there the whole year? Sure, Jared could ignore his surroundings pretty good but never thought he could miss something like the hot Jensen Ackles sitting next to him. 

"It's okay," Jared found himself saying. He wasn't sure why Jensen was even talking to him; sure, he stood up for him, but then called him a fag and walked away. Duh, mixed signals.

Jensen smiled again; Jared noticed that his teeth were commercial white. Weird.

The bell rang and Jared was brought back into the reality. He quickly turned away from Jensen, ducking his head and blushing. Jensen surely didn't want anyone to see him talking to Jared. 

He could swear he heard Jensen sigh.

 

After school, Jared decided to play a little spy crap and dig up something on Jensen.

He gathered all information he already had about Jensen: he moved to Little Rock year or so ago, instantly getting popular with girls. Jared was sure Jensen moved here in the middle of the sophomore year, joining the soccer team pretty fast. When their junior year started, Jensen became a captain of the soccer team, 'cause he was pretty damn good - or Jared heard so. Nobody talked to him, but Jared was really good at hearing other's conversations.

"Hey, Sandy!" Jared called out when he spotted familiar dark hair in a bun and a shirt he knew Jeff bought as an anniversary gift for her. He watched as his brother's girlfriend tensed, the slowly turned around with an uptight smile. "Hey, Jared," she greeted him lukewarmly, then made a face at her friends, who giggled and then she took a few steps towards him. "Whatcha need?"

"I was just wondering if you know something about Jensen Ackles?" Jared asked, ignoring the lack of excitement from her. Sandy was a cheerleader so she should know some gossips about soccer players, right? Especially about their captain?

"Why?" she frowned, but not as you're-annoying-me, more like I-don't-understand. See, Sandy wasn't mean, she just went with the crowd. At least she talked to him. 

"Well, I just... Uh, I'm sitting beside him at Science..." Jared mumbled; he didn't have any particular reason except he had a crush on him and he really didn't want to say that to her. Sandy looked uncomfortably over her shoulder, at her friends who were whispering something to each other, before turning her head back at Jared and sighing. 

"Fine. Whatever," she murmured. Jared could see in her eyes she wanted to spread some gossips. "Well, I don't know, he is a captain of the soccer team, kind of cocky but nice, I mean, he held a door for me once and who does this nowadays, huh? And I heard he is kind of a fuckboy."

Jared's eyebrows shot up. "A fuckboy?"

"Yeah, well, you know he's got a girlfriend, right? Danneel. But I also heard he slept with Queenie and Amanda - but Amanda could be making it up, 'cause she is, you know, _Amanda_ \- and just last week I heard that count Giselle flouting she slept with him too. I hate Giselle, she is always showing off with something, bitch."

 _Wow, TMI_ , Jared thought. First of all, he didn't know any of these girls Sandy mentioned - only Danneel rang a bell. Jared could even place a face to that name; a really pretty, quite tall, brunette. If Jared was straight he would definitely think she was hot, but he was gay, so, meh. She had nice legs though.

"Wow. Quite a number," Jared managed to laugh, but something clenched in him knowing his crush slept with many girls - probably with more than Sandy knew about. 

"Yeah, as I said. Fuckboy," Sandy shrugged and fished her mobile out of her pocket, checking the time. "Look, Jared, I should go now, I have-"

"No worries," Jared smiled before she had to come up with some false excuses. But maybe he was being a little unfair and paranoid and Sandy really had a place where she needed to be. "See ya later."

As Jared slowly walked to his old pick-up truck, he had a mind full of disturbing imagines of Jensen. Could he really just fuck around? He didn't look the type, but honestly, Jared didn't know him, they never spoke to each other till this morning and even that was just a few sentences. And Jared wasn't any excellent judge of character, so it was possible he had a crush on a really big asshole. 

But still, Jared didn't believe Jensen - his Prince Charming - would be an asshole. Maybe it was affection speaking, but someone who stopped bullying couldn't be that bad.

He'll find out later; Jared was actually kind of thrilled of this hunt for information about Jensen - yeah, he had a boring life. But later. First of all, he was gonna jack off in the shower, most likely thinking of Jensen. He had to baptize the crush after all.

Jared didn't make it to his car without troubles, though. He walked with his head ducked and headphones on as always, trying to be stealthy, which was hard when you were six-feet-four. All of sudden, someone grabbed his headphones and tore them off his head. The rock music stopped playing and Jared looked slowly up, seeing Stephen and his buddy Tom, both grinning.

"So, how was it with Ackles?" Tom smirked and Jared didn't like the look in his eyes at all. "Did he fucked your mouth or ass?"

Jared trembled, but this time besides fear out of anger too. It was unfair from them to drag Jensen into it, especially when all he did was stopping Stephen from giving Jared a black-eye. "None of it, but if you're interested, I'll let him know," Jared assured Tom, who turned bright red.

"You faggot!" he shouted and Jared found himself suddenly lying on the ground, Tom and Stephen kicking in him. He curled into a ball and let them, he found out a long time ago that fighting back wasn't a good idea. He just hoped the bruises wouldn't be too obvious, he wouldn't want to explain to his parents.

The parking lot was mostly empty and it wasn't like anyone would do anything anyway. Jared struggled not to let any sound out of his mouth, not a moan or a scream, not wanting to give those assheads the satisfaction of that.

And then, the kicks stopped, someone yelled and someone other groaned; then Jared heard heavy footsteps heading his way. Jared squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for another kick. Nothing came, just a feather touch on his shoulder.

"Hey, you okay?" someone asked quietly near his ear and Jared's heart skipped a beat when he recognized that voice immediately. Rescued by the same guy twice the same day, huh. Jared really didn't know what to think of that. 

Jared's head hurt like a bitch and he thought he had pretty bruised ribs, but it wasn't that bad. Something like this was better than a broken arm.

"Mostly," Jared managed to utter as he tried to get up, blushing and embarrassed. He was really useless, not even able to fight back. When Jensen saw Jared struggling to get on his feet, he obviously took pity on him 'cause he offered him a hand.

Jared gladly excepted that, enjoying the warmth of Jensen's palm. His grip was firm and his arms were strong, Jared could feel it as well as see it. When he was back on his feets, he decided he would never wash his hand again.

"Thanks," Jared murmured, finally being able to say thanks to Jensen felt good. He almost expected some insult from Jensen like before, but he didn't say anything. When Jared looked at him, Jensen almost seemed nervous, scratching the back of his neck. 

"You're welcome. It wasn't a big deal," Jensen shrugged, trying too hard to act casual.

"It was a big deal," Jared whispered and kinda hoped Jensen didn't hear him.  _It was a fuckin' big deal_.

Jensen obviously heard it though, by the look he gave him. "Hey, why, uh, why you never, y'know, fight back? I mean, look at you, you could overpower them easily..."

Jared looked at himself as he was told a see the skinny awkward teenager he hated, with almost none muscular mass. The only thing about him that could make Jensen think something like that was his height, at that was just making him even more skinny. 

Also, Jensen apparently thought he was pathetic and weak. Jared knew he was, but it wasn't anything pleasant to hear. Jared felt himself turning even redder as he bent down and picked up the headphones he totally forgot about. He just hoped these assholes didn't break them.

"I should go," Jared blurted out, not answering Jensen's question and making his way to his car faster than he thought was possible. Jensen didn't follow him and Jared watched him turn around eventually and walk probably to his truck or friends or girlfriend or hookup or whatever. Jared should ask if Jensen really fucked around; then he mentally kicked himself. People don't ask other people these kinds of things, and what more, Jared wasn't even sure Jensen knew his name.

Jared pulled off the parking lot and sighed when he saw his darkening black-eye. Great. Just great.

 

* * *

 

Another week passed by and Jared didn't see Jensen in school all week, even though he was scanning the crowd in the hallways very properly, and hoping every time Jensen would show up at their shared Science classes, which he hadn't.

The bullying surprisingly kind of minimalized, maybe the bullies were now scared or whatever when someone stopped them. Whatever it was, Jared was glad.

It was Friday now and Jared was looking forward to the weekend, to the days spent in his bed. He kind of reconciled with not seeing Jensen for the end of the week; he was probably sick or something. So it really surprised him when he was sitting by himself at a table at lunch as always, chewing at his sandwich minding his own business, when someone dropped his tray right beside him. 

Jared looked up and almost choked on his sandwich when he saw Jensen fucking Ackles. That guy's gonna be the death of him someday.

"Hey," Jensen smiled with ease like they were best friends not... well, they weren't anything actually. Classmates maybe.

"Uh, hi," Jared managed to get out and grabbed his bottle of water to take a gulp. "Aren't you, uh, I dunno, at the wrong table?"

"Why should I be at the wrong table?" Jensen asked and picked up a few french fries then showed them into his mouth. Raising his eyebrow Jared looked around, seeing almost everyone was watching them like _what the fuck is someone like_ him _doing with someone like_ him? "Well, isn't it, er, kinda obvious?"

"I want to spend my lunch break with you. Why is that a bad thing?"  _Because we ain't friends_ , Jared thought.  _Because you'd get crap for talking to me. Because I don't know what the fuck you want. Because you're too hot and I'll embarrass myself. Because I'm pretty sure you don't even know my name._

"Why are you doing this?" Jared frowned, not following. Frowning in response, Jensen leaned closer and Jared could see all the freckles on his face.  _God_.

"Doing what?"

"I dunno, saving me from getting bashed, talking to me - shouldn't you be with your soccer buddies?" Jared asked, he felt so confused but also so glad for Jensen's presence. 

"You look like you could use a friend." The corners of Jensen's mouth curved up a little in a soft smile while Jared's face fell and his heart dropped.  _Pity_. Jared just looked miserable to Jensen. Jensen was just a kind person, trying to do something nice. Like a good deed.

Just fucking pity. Jared felt tears in his eyes and blinked a few times, trying to chase them away.

"Thanks, but I think I'm good," Jared said as something squeezed in his chest and he left the table, leaving confused-looking Jensen behind.

 

"We'll be back till Monday," Jared's mother, Sheryl Padalecki, said as she adjusted the strap of her handbag over her shoulder. She looked relaxed and seemed to be looking forward to spending the weekend just with her husband. Instead of her usual very conservative clothes and high-heels she was wearing jeans and a plaid shirt, which Jared didn't think he would ever see - his mom in a plaid! Without her strict expression and typical clothes, she looked ten years younger.

Jared really liked seeing her this relaxed, she deserved a break from all the stress; Sheryl was a lawyer and over the past few months she was working really hard, didn't get much sleep. Jared wanted her to relax for the weekend and just enjoyed it. It was the least she deserved - and his father too - after they were so understanding and nice about Jared's sexuality. At least his parents didn't hate him for who he was.

"There is enough food in the fridge, but I left you a couple of hundred at the kitchen counter if you'd want to order pizza or something. You know to call 911 if anything happens. Should I ask Mrs. Larsson to come to check on you two?" Sheryl actually looked worried, like Jared and his brother were ten or something.

"It's cool, Mum," Jeff said with a grin. "You need to chill out. You and Dad deserve the break. We'll be just fine."

Sheryl sighed and then smiled softly. "I know, you're a grown-up mans now. Oh, Gerald, move your ass here, we should leave or I'm gonna start the waterworks!" Sheryl shouted the last part, looking all emotional. A few moments later, Jared's father stumbled out of the house, burdened with two suitcases and a few other bags.

"Oh my god, mom, how long do you plan on staying there?" Jared asked with a raised eyebrow. 

"You never know what you'll need. Better be prepared," Sheryl grinned. A few minutes later, both of Jared's parents were inside the car, leaving and Jared and Jeff stood there for a couple of seconds and waved. 

Suddenly, Jeff turned to him, looking kind of nervous. Sheryl always said they looked the same, but Jared had an utterly different opinion. And Jeff was completely different than Jared too - he was confident, kinda popular and didn't have troubles communicating with people. Also, he was straight.

"Look, with Mum and Dad away, I'm gonna throw a party," Jeff told him. "Already called a few people." Jeff took a deep breath and looked kinda guilty. "Uh, don't you mind to, you know, stay in your room? I mean, I know you don't like parties..."

Jared's face fell as he realized what Jeff was saying. He didn't want him at his party because no one liked Jared, and Jared could really be a party-killer. He sighed, trying to hide how much this hurt him. 

"Sure, Jeff. We wouldn't want your stupid friends to have to be in one room with a faggot, right? Might cause them an emotional damage. Don't worry about me; I'll stay in the basement, to not bother you guys," Jared snapped, not believing this. Jeff was his goddamned brother! What you are when even your brother is ashamed of you?

"Jay, c'mon, you-" Jeff started but Jared turned around and practically run to the house, stumbling into the basement and letting the doors shut behind him. Jared padded towards the old, slowly rotting couch, which was in the basement all Jared's life, and collapsed at it. 

Fuck his life. Jared let few tears drop before furiously wiping his cheeks. It was not worth it; Jeff wasn't worth it.  _Fuck him_ , Jared thought as he put his earphones in his ears and closed his eyes, letting the music calm him down.

 

Jared stayed in the basement as he said to Jeff, only creeping out to grab a bag of chips and a bottle of coke. Fortunately, he didn't run into Jeff and Jeff also didn't come down to the basement to check on him. Jared wasn't sure if he was glad or hurt or pissed. He lied on the couch and ate the chips; he could tell when Jeff's friends came, by the noise. Jared didn't know what Jeff's idea of  _a few people_ was, but obviously, it didn't meet Jared's.

Soon after the people started flowing in, a loud music started playing and Jared rolled his eyes; his brother always had a horrible music taste.

Jared put his earphones back in his ears and picked up the volume, trying to ignore all the noise coming from upstairs. This way, neighbors are gonna complain at them and Jared knew his parents wouldn't like that Jeff had a party here, not at all. 

Jared even drifted off to sleep at some point, wishing he was in his room in his comfy bed where he could read, not in quite a stinky basement on an uncomfortable couch.

A shouting woke Jared up. He quickly sat up, rubbing his eyes in an attempt to fully wake up. As he tried to focus his unfocused gaze, he wondered what was happening up there. Maybe their parents came home unexpectedly and now they were giving Jeff shit for throwing a party?

Suddenly the basement door swung open and Jared almost jumped, the noise coming from upstairs way much louder this way. The doors quickly slammed shut a few moments after they opened. Jared from his position couldn't see who entered the basement but had an urge to hide behind the couch. Lame, yeah, but if some drunk couple came here to fuck, Jared didn't need to see that. The mysterious someone sighed but didn't come down the stairs.

After a while, he heard the someone groan up the stairs, which was followed by a few kicks in the door and then shouted, "You have to be kidding me!" Jared knew that voice, he just couldn't name it.

Jared sat there on the couch, unsure what to do, whether he should try to stay quiet and hope the someone would leave, or maybe leave the basement and try to go to his room? Or just wait what'll happen?

The someone obviously gave up his kicking in the door in the meantime, so Jared heard heavy footsteps on the stairs, then he saw legs, soon followed by the owner of the legs, Jensen fucking Ackles.

Well wasn't Jared a hell of a lucky guy?

Jared still didn't know what to think about Jensen - and Jensen it wasn't making any easier, first standing up for him, then insulting him, then admiring his sketches. Now Jensen seemed as surprised as Jared felt to see him sitting there on the sofa. Jared cuddled on himself a little, starting to sweat.

"Uh, hi," Jared said after a moment of awkward silence.

"Yeah, hey," Jensen seemed to awake from some sort of shock. "Uh, I can't open the doors," Jensen added, pointing at the door, probably trying to explain his previous behavior once he knew someone was there.

"Yeah, they stuck sometimes," Jared explained, shrugging. "Can be opened only from outside. Means you're stuck here with me now."

Jensen looked around the basement, scratching at the back of his neck nervously, looking all upset. Jared's brows furrowed, but he got why Jensen wasn't thrilled about being stuck somewhere with him. "No worries someone will notice you're missin' soon for sure and they'll rescue you. I'm sure you'll be a hero for surviving so long with a queer in one room." 

Jensen looked at him wide eyes. "What?" he choked out. "Jesus, no, I-I'm not upset because of you here," Jensen assured him. "Just... something." 

Jared had a weird feeling about this conversation; he and Jensen never spoke before and suddenly Jared had a feeling like Jensen was talking to him like to a friend. It was weird, but Jared kinda liked it - someone talking normally to him.

"Alright," Jared said, shifting uncomfortably on the couch. But since Jensen was here, he could get some answers, but he didn't know how to start. Jared really sucked at conversations, especially because he had no one to practice with.

An awkward silence filled the room. Jensen looked concentrated like he was trying to come up with something to say. Finally, he said, "Uh, I'm Jensen, by the way. I think I never introduced myself."

Jared was honestly surprised Jensen thought he didn't know his name - kinda everyone knew Jensen. "Yeah, I know," Jared stated. Now it was Jensen who looked surprised. "You do?" he asked slightly stunned. Jared nodded his head. "Yeah, well, you're kind of celebrity at school, so... Small town," Jared shrugged, it wasn't really such a big deal.

"I'm Jared," he offered in return, meanwhile trying to solve the mystery of Jensen Ackles, the moody knight in shining armor, as he eyed him. 

"I know," Jensen smiled a little, then stumbled a few steps forward, from which Jared guessed he was pretty drunk. "You're kind of... known too." Jared stopped smiling at that, but it was true. Everyone knew him. He would be rather if they didn't. 

"Where were you all week?" Jared asked, trying to shake off the uneasy feeling that settled in his gut. "I didn't see you at school."

"Oh, so you were looking for me?" Jensen smirked and Jared's brows furrowed.

"Shut up, jerk," he mumbled, "you sit beside me at Science. Kinda hard to miss when you're not there."

"Well, you did a really good job at ignoring me all year," Jensen teased.

"I said shut up," Jared said, but with a grin. "So what, were you sick?"

"No, business at home. It kind of got bad," Jensen shrugged. Jared wasn't sure if he was even aware of what he was saying. 

"... bad?" Jared asked; he knew he was probably pushing so far and wished to just stay silent once he said it, but it was just his damn curiosity. When Jared wanted to know something, he went for it.

Jensen looked at the floor. "Yeah, pretty bad. I mean - my stepdad, he uh... did stuff. To... my sister. Me." Wow, Jensen had to be really drunk if he was telling him this. Concerned, Jared leaned closer, frowning. "Are you okay?" he asked quietly, concern lingering in his voice.

At Jared's tone, Jensen seemed to snap out of his trance or whatever, his eyes widening when he realized what he had just said. "Yeah," he snapped and Jared backed off. None of his business, he got it. Jensen gave him a small, crooked smile.

Jensen made a few wobbling steps towards the wall and slid down. Once he was sitting on the floor, he placed his head on his knees and suddenly kind of looked like his world just fell apart. Jared didn't know what so horrible could happen to him at Jeff's party, but it was none of his business to ask.

On the other hand, Jared was by nature curious, so he leaned forward and asked shyly: "What happened at the party?" 

Jensen's head shot up and he looked at Jared with slightly narrowed eyes. "What?"

"I mean, you kinda look like shit - uh, I mean, you look like you just hit a dog or something," Jared babbled, blushing and ducking his head. He  _really_ sucked at conversations. "No need to answer, really, why should you tell me something, right? Oh my god, I just suck at conversations - I should stop." Flushing, Jared had a hard time resisting the urge to hide his face in a pillow.

Jensen laughed softly - the way Jared blushed was really sweet. And his babbling was adorable. Jensen really had a soft spot for the kid. But he didn't feel like answering right now. Jared seemed to understand and nodded.

Silence filled the room once again, but it wasn't as awkward as before. Jared really wanted to ask him why he stood up for him, but Jensen was faster, looked up at him and asked, "So what are you doin' here in fact?" Jared knew it, avoiding serious shit by focusing on something else - in this case, Jared. Jared looked at how devastated and pale - and slightly drunk - Jensen looked and decided he could really use a distraction. He also began to wonder how much time it'll get someone to start looking for Jensen.

"I'm here to not embarrass my big brother at his party," Jared shrugged, shifting his legs and sitting cross-legged. "But I hate parties anyway, so I don't mind."

"Wait... Jeff's your brother?" Jensen asked, surprised. "And he... locked you here? What an asshole!"

"He didn't lock me here," Jared defended him. "This was better than to stay upstairs. The people at the party would eat me alive." Even though he was pissed at Jeff right now, he still didn't deserve to be called an asshole. Well, mostly.

Jensen shook his head. "Still. He's an asshole."

"Uh... I guess he kinda is," Jared grinned, "but he is my brother, so... I'm supposed to forgive him for being a jackass."

Jensen turned his head at Jared and look he was going to say something more, but obviously changed his mind. At the end, he just sighed. Jared dug his nails into his forearm and took a deep breath,  _now or never_.

"Why did you stood up for me?" Jared blurted out, not daring to look at Jensen.

"Huh?"

"When Stephen wanted to punch me that morning, you stopped him. And then at the parking lot. Then being all friends with me. Why would you do that when you think I'm disgusting like everybody else thinks?" 

Jensen's head shot up, a look of disbelief in his eyes. "I never said you're disgusting!"

"Well, you called me a fag, so I thought..." 

Jensen shook his head. "Jared, do you think I'd be here talking to you if I thought you're disgusting?"

Okay, Jensen got a point; but Jared only felt more confused. "I don't know, why did you call me fag then?"

"I-I panicked," Jensen uttered after a while, "I panicked, okay? I didn't want to see you getting bashed, but then everyone was looking and it kinda... slipped."

 _It kinda slipped, my ass_ , Jared thought and for a brief second considered to say it out loud, but he rejected the thought. Jared could see why Jensen panicked, maybe worried that somebody will start judging him. It still kinda hurt.

But first of all, Jared was really grateful. "Thank you," he whispered when he gathered enough courage to do so. "No one ever stood up for me before." 

Jensen's face softened at that. "You're welcome," he whispered back.

 

Jared really wanted to move closer to Jensen, maybe wrap his arms around him, brush his fingers through his hair to find out if they were so soft as they looked like. Then he reminded himself harshly Jensen was straight, and if Sandy was right, he was fucking around, so him being nice was really just him being nice at that was all. Jared shouldn't ruin this whatever it was by doing something so stupid like kissing Jensen for example.

Jared still slowly shifted on the couch closer to the spot by the wall Jensen was sitting at. Jensen noticed it and his expression softened again. Jared took a deep breath and asked another question that was lingering in his mind, now when they had the sharing club. 

"Why are you so nice to me?" Jared asked and held his breath, this question almost seemed more important to him than whether Jensen was gay or not. Okay, not more important, but the one he could actually ask.

Jensen smiled nervously and when he whispered, his voice was hoarse. "Because I like you, Jared."

Jared fainted. 

Alright, he didn't faint, but he was close to it. He was sure this was the moment where he should do something spontaneous, like lean over the armrest and kiss Jensen, but he felt like he was glued to his spot. And there was a very real possibility of Jensen showing him away, maybe even yelling at him he l _ost his mind, fucking faggot!_

"Like me... how?" Jared asked, nervously wetting his lips. Jensen's gaze was lingering on his lips and his eyes darkened a little. Jared's heart skipped a beat.

"Like you as  _like_ you," Jensen smiled a little, "I mean, like you as I see you and for a second I feel like I can't breathe, and I don't know what the fuck is happening with me and why the fuck am I telling you - probably 'cause I'm drunk, sober I'd have never tell you."

Jared's head was spinning and he took a deep breath to focus. "Are you saying you-you  _like me_ _?_ "

Jensen's lips quirked upwards, "Yeah, I mean. I guess so."

"So... you like me," Jared still tried to understand what was happening.

"Yeah, Jared, we've been through that already. I like you. Do you like me?"

Jared turned the most reddish red and squeaked, "Y-you don't just ask people that!"

Jensen's smile slightly faltered. "Sorry. 'S the booze," Jensen yawned. "Sorry, I shouldn't ask. I mean. I'm not good at conversations either."

"You? I mean... you're popular. Popular people are good at conversations," Jared uttered.

"Well, I really don't know why am I popular," Jensen shrugged. "People just saw my looks and my soccer skills and kinda made me popular without me really doing anything. Or wanting it."

"Wow," Jared smiled for real, showing his dimples. "I didn't know you could be popular against your wish."

"No, it's not that... It's-" Jensen stopped when he caught the glimpse of Jared smiling. "You have dimples," he said, surprised.

Jared flushed. "Yeah, I hate them," he murmured quietly.

"What? You look adorable!" Jensen assured him, leaning closer and touched one his cheek, near the dimple. Jared was kind of stunned; no one ever called him even handsome or pretty, and certainly not adorable. And he thought nobody ever would.

"Er... thank you, I guess," Jared didn't know what to say. What's a proper response to  _You're adorable?_  Jared couldn't think of any.

Jared thought his brain was going to explode from all the confusion and pieces of information. "But - what does this mean - I mean - you're straight -" Jared stuttered out, not really making sense even to himself. Just the idea that Jensen could be interested in him in any way was overwhelming and very possibly not real.

Jensen debated with himself how to calm Jared down and convince him he was serious at the same time. He thought for a second wheter to tell or not to tell Jared before he sighed - the whatever-it-can't-get-worse sigh - and shook his head.

"Y'know, I think I just really fucked up," Jensen sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I mean, I had a few drinks you know, and then this guy popped up, I think I never saw him before; I think he is someone's cousin or something." Jensen took a deep breath to calm down. Jared didn't really understand why Jensen was confessing to him all of sudden, but he was happy about it. "I - okay, no details needed, but we ended up kinda making out in a bathroom."

Whoa, Jared really didn't see that one coming. 

He didn't know what to say for a while - what do you say to something like that? At least Jensen knew he wasn't judging him like anyone else would. Maybe that was why Jensen was telling him - he knew Jared would understand, not make any jokes about it.

"And then Chris - my kind of best friend - burst in accidentally and yelled like 'What the fuck, man?' and people looked and - I kinda panicked, stumbled out and got myself locked in a basement." Jensen let out a hollow laughed and lolled his head to rest it against the wall. "I really fucked up, huh?"

Jared didn't know how to feel after this confession, but couldn't beat the slight spark of hope that popped up in his chest. 

"I don't think you fucked up," he said after a while softly. "If you want to make out with guys, you should have the right and it's no one's damn business." Jared found himself rising his voice at the end, his own anger mixing in it. Jensen looked at him with almost pity, like he understood, but Jared hated that - someone glancing with pity at him at him. Like he was so pitiable, so poor and sorry he needed their sympathy.

"Maybe you're right. I mean, it's not like I'm not regretting it, but not because he was a guy, but 'cause he was some random guy and not someone I like," Jensen responded. Someone he liked? Jared was really curious about that. Did it mean...? 

Jared thought Jensen could feel the anxiety from him as Jared desperately wanted to ask the question.  _Are you gay?_ But it would be rude, in the first place, and secondly, Jared couldn't be so lucky that his crush would be gay - closeted one, but still. And maybe not so closeted after tonight.

"I thought you had a girlfriend?" Jared asked instead, but the question underneath it was still obvious.

Jensen smiled weakly. "Yeah, Dani and I have this arrangement - she likes girls, I like boys, mostly. Neither of us wanted to come out yet and it would be weird, for people like us to be single, so... It's a win-win." 

Okay, Jared just got it confirmed, Jensen was gay. Would it be too much to rose up and do a quick happy dance?

But also, Jared felt a pinch of anger. He and Jensen were the same, queers, only Jared was outed and Jensen wasn't. If people knew about Jensen's sexual orientation, he would never be so popular as he were. And if Jared didn't come out, he would have friends and all. Life was fuckin' unfair.

And also, what about all these girls Sandy told him about?

Jared's brain was shouting reasonably thoughts like,  _He slept with so many girls! He just made out with a guy in your bathroom thirty minutes ago!_ Jared told his brain to shut up as Jensen slowly leaned closer, looking like he forgot at all about his previous misery. 

Jared's heart hammered in his chest like crazy. He heard only the blood rushing in his ears and once he dared to look into Jensen's eyes, he thought he could drown in the emerald green. Jensen's eyes were dark and his pupils blown, his breathing erratic. 

They were inches apart, just staring at each other, none of them daring to take the last step. Jensen was only who gathered his courage after all, leaned in and kissed Jared softly - first at the corner of his mouth, then slowly moving to his lips.

When his and Jensen's lips met, Jared felt a thousand emotions at once. It was just a soft touch but left him panting and blushing, pumping fire through his veins. Hey, it was his first kiss. And it was amazing. 

Jensen slowly pulled away and blinked, a grin breaking on his face. "Wow," he whispered. Jared could only agree. 

Slowly, smiled tugged at Jensen's lips as he looked up at the still stuck doors. "Well, y'know, while we're here and have nothing to do..." he trailed off and gave Jared a mishievous smirk.

"You're unbelievable," Jared grinned but let Jensen pull him down for another kiss.

This was going to be a long night.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So, what do you think? ;)


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